Ways to Gain Self Confidence
We need self-confidence in order to move forward confidently in life. The concept of self-confidence, which expresses self-confidence, is the basis of achieving the results we want in life. Here, while explaining the practical ways of gaining self-confidence in this video training, I will be sharing with you the self-confidence ladder application, which is an effective work that we can use to strengthen self-confidence in the last part.
We all know how self-confident feeling is. It has a unique taste, smell and atmosphere. Every person continues his life with a certain average of self-confidence. Sometimes it goes below it, sometimes it goes above it. But it usually proceeds in a certain line. The point is to raise this average over time.
Generally speaking, self-confidence refers to a person's belief in himself and a positive attitude towards what he can do. When we feel competent and competent in any subject, our self-confidence will be high in that area. However, self-confidence tells more than just feeling competent about a particular subject. To the extent that we can spread this confidence throughout our lives, we generally feel more self-confident.
We need this special feeling, which makes us feel strong, in all areas of life, from bilateral relations to working life. A confident person is brave and is not afraid to lose. They tend to take risks and are more assertive. Against rejection and criticism tolerance it should be more. A self-confident person acts in an attitude that is confident and knows what he is doing. He is more insistent on implementing his own thoughts and decisions.
Having self-confidence not only directs our behavior, but also determines the attitudes of others towards us. When we are self-confident, many people behave accordingly. A legendary story is told about Socrates. Socrates, who participated in a war in his youth, saw that the army he was a member of had retreated after a heavy defeat. Thereupon, he started walking in the square in a comfortable way without running. Enemy soldiers chasing those who had fled, passed by without touching Socrates, who was walking around the battlefield with a relaxed attitude.
Many times in life, we find ourselves grappling with feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. There can be many specific reasons for insecurity. A person with average self-esteem may experience a loss of self-confidence due to a recent failure or loss. May act shyly when feeling inadequate or unwilling for a particular task, or when depressed. On the other hand, when we are trying to develop a new skill, learning a new language, aiming to drive a car or do well in math, we need more self-confidence. Even though the goals may be different, we will need to have a lot of confidence in ourselves in every situation in order to move forward strongly in life.
What makes you feel powerful in life?
What makes you feel powerful in life? You will realize that this answer underlies your self-confidence. There are certain factors that feed the feeling of self-confidence. Every person feels self-confident because they think they have more than one or more of the reasons I'm going to list now. This is almost always the case. Physical attractiveness, money, talent or skill, relationships, knowledge, education, intelligence, experience or hard work. Knowing that you have the feature that the current situation requires more gives a sense of self-confidence. The main problem with self-confidence is the absence or thought of not having a feature that fits the subject.
Self-confidence is most evident when it comes to trying, striving, and taking initiative. Confidence is the ability to assert oneself, to say, "I am here." It is the willingness to showcase your talents without hesitation. Being self-confident does not guarantee success in every endeavor, as life's outcomes depend on various factors. However, having self-confidence is a prerequisite for achieving results in many aspects of life.
For example, having an attractive physique will increase your effectiveness in social life. When you find yourself attractive, you reflect that in your behavior. But if your goal is to win a place in athletics, it doesn't really matter how beautiful you are here. We can see that your more physical endurance and disciplined work will give you self-confidence. So the basic approach here is to analyze the qualifications required for our goal, to know ourselves and to come up with a good plan in order to meet these qualifications.
We understand, then, that in order to strengthen self-confidence in a particular area, it is necessary to meet proficiency in that area. In the end, it all comes down to how much you want what you're aiming for and whether we put in the effort to get it.
The Basic Way to Gain Confidence
The key to building confidence in a specific area that requires performance is to work diligently until mastery is achieved. The skills acquired after acquiring knowledge, practicing, and gaining experience contribute to the development of self-confidence. As we enhance our ability to spread this sense of competence across various aspects of life, we will also be able to achieve better results in all our endeavors.
At this point, it would be a useful approach to divide the targeted skill into small pieces and try to become sufficient for each one. In addition, following a development process that we will progress from easy to difficult will make it easier for us to gain the confidence we desire. Students of China's centuries-old Shaolin Kung Fu school devote their entire days to superhuman work to discipline themselves. To develop a particular move, they first break it up into small pieces and work for days to master each one. These hardworking people, who have devoted their lives completely to this, have thus gained a strong self-confidence.
An important key to success is self-confidence. The key to self-confidence is preparation. Arthur Ashe
For example, you need to give a public speech. But let's say you don't have any experience on how to do this. First of all, after you have prepared a good content, you can go in front of the mirror and talk to yourself. In the next step, if conditions allow, you may consider speaking in front of a few people who know you. You can even videotape it and watch it later to realize what you can do better. After a few effective practices, it is almost certain that you will appear more confident in front of real audiences. You can use this gradual improvement tactic on any subject you want to develop skills in.
The Power of Creative Imagination
Besides, imagining yourself developing a skill can be an effective method. Imagine that you are doing the practice you need by visualizing it in your mind. When you visualize each step in detail with feeling, you can create a powerful effect of experience. In a study of bodybuilders, a similar result was obtained in terms of muscle development between those who dreamed of lifting weights and those who actually did it. Think about it, you can lose weight, learn to drive or act more confidently by making visualizations in your mind. But remember. In order for it to create a real experience effect in the brain, you need to use all the senses actively and do a systematic visualization. You can find my videos on how to do creative visualization on my channel.
One of the biggest factors that increase self-confidence in a general or private field is to be successful, to win, to get what you want. On the contrary, when we experience defeat or loss; When we face a situation of failure or failure, our self-confidence weakens. While some can easily get over the destruction caused by failure, some cannot get over it for a long time. At this point, it will be useful to reinterpret the meaning of the failures experienced. For example, we may feel better when we see failure as an inevitable and necessary part of the success process. When self-confidence hits the bottom, the tactic is to start from the beginning and try to increase self-confidence by gradually progressing towards the difficult after achieving success in simple tasks. For example, teams that have suffered a bad defeat will want to face a relatively easy opponent, aiming to regain their self-confidence.
Self-Confidence Stance
One of the primary factors supporting self-confidence is having a good appearance. We can't change the characteristics we are born with too much, but we can succeed in recognizing and emphasizing the qualities that set us apart from others. Taking care of your physical appearance, dressing stylishly, and maintaining a positive mood will nurture your self-confidence. Additionally, being aware of our posture and behaviors is crucial. By observing ourselves, we can choose to exhibit behaviors that make us appear more self-confident.
Olmak istediğin gibi davran. Kısa zamanda davrandığın gibi olacaksın. Leonard Cohen
Being Action-Oriented
Making a decision and then taking action is one of the key factors that nourishes self-confidence. If you don't act promptly after making a decision or if you hesitate and wait, you may start to doubt yourself. When indecision and inaction come together, the situation can become even more challenging. Therefore, especially when you are feeling anxious and worried, you should strive to harness the absolute power of taking action. The best way to gain self-confidence is to lead an action-oriented life by confronting fears and concerns head-on.
The Perfectionism Trap
The threshold at which each person feels sufficient varies. One of the most challenging situations for developing self-confidence is having a perfectionist personality. Perfectionists set very high standards for themselves and never feel adequate. Engaged in a constant process of preparation, these individuals may struggle with feelings of inadequacy throughout their lives. This situation tends to overlook small but valuable improvements, hindering the strengthening of self-confidence in that particular area. Another handicap observed in these individuals is an intolerance for mistakes. If you have such a tendency, it's essential to be aware of it and learn to appreciate even the smallest improvements. Recognize that every skill develops over time, and perfection can only be achieved through practice.
Self-Confidence Transfer
One of the important issues in self-confidence is to be able to spread the feeling of self-confidence in one area throughout our lives. There is always at least one thing in life that you are good at and feel strong doing. This is the only area where we feel confident. Imagine that you can carry this special feeling wherever you want or feel it again whenever you want. You can carry that strong feeling in the area you are good at to a new area you have developed, and you also have the chance to spread it throughout your life.
So how do we do this process, which we call self-confidence transfer? Now I want you to imagine a situation where you feel extremely resourceful and powerful. Let this be something you are very good at. Try to portray your current image in detail. Look at yourself from the outside. See your self-confident state in detail. Now freeze this scene as if you were a movie director and change the physical environment you are in as you would a movie set. Observe your self-confidence in your new environment and as you develop your new skill. In this state of mind, he is now much more confident in his new role. Try to repeat this imagery as often as possible. First, start with the image you are confident in and move it to the area you have just developed. After a while, you will be able to do this automatically. Thus, as you develop your new skill, you will realize that you are both more confident and making faster progress.
Get inspired
Seeing someone achieve something in the world inspires everyone. It gives us courage and increases our self-confidence, especially when people we look like ourselves in the field we are interested in achieve difficult things. One of the most well-known examples in this regard is with athletics is relevant. Before May 6, 1954, the record of running 1 mile under four minutes, which he believed no man could achieve, was broken for the first time by British athlete Roger Bannister. Just six weeks after Bannister's success, this record was equaled. In the following nine years, approximately 200 people were able to exceed this limit (Dilts, 2009). This example also illustrates how powerful results can be achieved by breaking constrained beliefs. If you are trying to develop a skill in a new field, it will be inspiring to know that many people have passed through this difficult path.
Instilling Self-Confidence
The fact that a supportive environment instills self-confidence should not be underestimated. However, most people do not have the chance to be in such an environment for various reasons. You may even have to struggle with people who do their best to lower your self-esteem most of the time. Because some people instinctively think that your success will make them look like failures. Trying to stay away from such an environment, if you can, would be the surest solution.
A trust from others can certainly ignite the fire within you. However, if you are not in such an environment, it is possible to give this support to yourself. You can create this support yourself by instilling self-confidence. At this point, I suggest you take a look at the Self Model application that I mentioned in my previous training video. Strong and positive communication with yourself will reduce the vulnerability of your self-confidence in general. In particular, repeating positive suggestions frequently will give you the confidence you need. Many people underestimate the power of self-talk. But you never know what miracles the right words in the right place can create. When you communicate with yourself in a positive and constructive language, your self-confidence will be much stronger.
Self Confidence Time
Özgüveninizi güçlendirmenin en iyi yollarından birisi de günde birkaç dakikanızı özgüven geliştirmeye ayırmaktır. Bunun için, her gün kendinizi başarılı hissettiren en az 3 anıyı hatırlamaya çalışırsınız. Eğer dilerseniz, bunlardan birisini yazarak da ifade etmeyi deneyebilirsiniz. Bunu düzenli bir şekilde tekrarladığınızda, bir süre sonra ihtiyaç duyduğunuz anlarda bu anıların yarattığı güçlü duyguyu hızlı bir şekilde çağırabiliyor olacaksınız. Ayrıca gün içinde kendinize güvendiğinizi gösteren ve bu sayede iyi sonuçlar aldığınız durumları gece uyumadan önce kendinize hatırlatmaya çalışın. Unutmayın böylesi deneyimleri mutlaka yaşamışsınızdır. Artık hafızanızı biraz da kendinizi güçlendirmek adına kullanmanın zamanı gelmedi mi?
Finally, I want to emphasize the importance of being in a positive state of mind. When we manage to feel good in any situation, our sense of confidence will be positively affected. Naturally, when our spirits are high and everything is going well in our lives, our confidence will be higher. Regardless of the circumstances, we should always be aware of our unique potential and strength within and never cease our efforts to keep our spirits high.
Before moving on to our application, we can say the following in the light of all this information. We need self-confidence for almost everything in life. Because our self-confidence is the essence and basis of our own potential. Our life can only be built on a strong sense of trust. Therefore, we must always protect our self-confidence and strive to strengthen it day by day.
Self Confidence Ladder Application
In the last part, I would like to share with you an application consisting of 5 steps that I prepared specifically for this training. You can apply this exercise especially when you want to feel more confident about a certain subject. The practice is done by climbing a mental ladder. (Watch the Video for Application)
References: Robert Dilts (2009), Language Illusions (Trans. A. Volkan Çubukçu), Türkiye İş Bankası Cultural Publications, 2nd Edition, İstanbul
