Tayfun Topaloğlu, Türkiye’nin Kişisel Gelişim ve Yaşam Dergisi 21’in Eylül sayısı için röportaj verdi. Yeni çıkan kitabı Dalgaları Aşmak dahil pek çok önemli konuda görüş belirten yazarımızın bu önemli röportajından dikkatimizi çeken başlıkları sizlerle paylaşıyoruz.
How do we overcome the steep waves that prevent us from taking action?…What must be done to overcome them? What are the things that make people take action or stop their action and what needs to be done to overcome their fears?
Man by nature is designed to act, to act. In fact, this is the case for all living things on earth. However, many life-specific reasons prevent us from taking action and cause us to leave the work we have started unfinished.
First of all, it is very important that we realize why we exist in life, what we are here to do and what we are here to achieve. It is a fact that all people should understand that in this life it is necessary to express themselves and experience life purpose. Any effort that is not related to our core values is a potential candidate to be left unfinished. It is possible to achieve goals that others, not ourselves, see fit for us; however, it can also be the cause of an unsatisfied life. Infinite motivation will be possible with a meaningful life, and only if we determine our dreams and build a life accordingly. Still, this is the hard way. When necessary, it will also bring together many people from our close circle. However, if the dreams we have come from our essence, then they are strong enough to create the power and resources we need.
It takes a lot of work and hard work to make dreams come true. A guaranteed way is not a solution. The measure of fidelity to dreams is simply to be devoted to it and to base all life's actions on it. I suggest that all dreamers adopt a phrase I have used recently as a slogan. “Dream as you live, live as you dream.” As you dream for life, make your dreams come true by taking action. Make your dreams come true!
If there is a secret to making your dreams come true, it is to be faithful to dreams and to be in action anytime, anywhere. For one thing, I don't accept any developmental teachings that offer a solution outside of work. Beneath every transformation in life is not knowing, but doing. “Do-a-know!” Each actionable step changes and transforms all possibilities. When you take action, all your plans will be ruined (which is a good thing), while you will see the meaningless fears you have created in your head pass. Because reality changes, transforms and transforms with your every action… Take action! Right now, here, with whoever is with you. In such an uncertain, fast-changing world, wasting time planning is just insane. Because there will definitely be a wave that we cannot plan, and it is strong enough to bury you in deep waters at any moment.
You say every dream wants to come true… Does every dream really come true? What about our disappointments?
All dreams come true. That's why it's so important to be aware of how we dream. We cannot realize what we do not dream of; because somehow, we determine it, albeit subconsciously. The disappointments you mention are closely related to expectations. Expectations about anything beyond our own control are a potential disappointment. Everything outside of ourselves is beyond our control. It is an endless chain of possibilities. It is common space and everyone's wishes are equally important. That's why we don't have the luxury of saying "I wanted it, it didn't come true". There, we have an obligation to say “I wanted it, I worked to make it happen”.
To try, to fail, to be deceived, to be destroyed, to be cursed… all are possible situations faced by people who want to do something in life. What is important here is the essence of the process itself. If you enjoy the process, the disappointment at the end will only be a reason to start over.
The true dreamer has no failure; he has learning experiences. He is constantly put to the test as to what he really wants. The difficulty of this quiz has to do with how big of a thing he wants. Each experience comes to make us stronger on the dream journey. Therefore, with this structure of consciousness, we should happily meet the challenges that come our way. We must also understand the consequences of our actions, and if they are not the results we want, we need to set out again to change them. After all, isn't that what life is all about!?
Relying on intuition… How can we separate this from assumptions? What is intuition and what is a hypothetical approach, and how do we avoid this dilemma?
Sezgilere güvenmek demek, bilgilerimizin oldukça yetersiz olduğu durumlarda, hissel kararlar alabilmek demektir. Varsayımlar yine bilginin varlığına ihtiyaç duyarlar. Ancak sezgide, hemen hiç bilgi yoktur. Daha çok enerji düzeyinde, bilinçaltı düzeyindeki algılarımız devrededir. Varsaydığımızda seçenekler devreye girer, sezdiğimizde ise sadece tek bir yanıt vardır. O da, gerçek olandır. Kendimize, sezgilere açık olmak bir nevi yetidir. Öğrenilmesi, güvenilmesi gereken bir araçtır. Özellikle belirsiz anlarda ve kararsız kaldığımız, içinden bir türlü çıkamadığımız durumlarda kalpten gelen bir yanıttır sezgiler. Pek çoğumuz bu bilgeliğe kapalı yaşıyoruz maalesef. Özellikle veri yığınından bir çöplüğe dönen beynimizi kullanmayı, mantıklı olmalısın diyen dış sesleri duymayı bir türlü bırakamıyoruz. Çünkü bırakın sezgilerimize güvenmeyi, kendimize, dünyaya ve hatta hiçbir şeye güvenemez hale gelmişiz. Çünkü doğrular bizim olmaktan çıkmış durumdadır. Kendimize uzak kalmışız, yabancılaşmış durumdayız. Yaşamlarımız bir kopya haline gelmiş; özgün bireylerken birer kopya olarak ölmek daha kabul edilebilir bir son gibi gelmiş bizlere.
“Don't be afraid to be alone if you are 'one'; but if the unity within you is not formed, even if you take the most crowded armies with you, you will lose your war.” How is this unity formed? What tips would you give us for this?
The concept of 'oneness' here refers to personal integrity. It is the act of a person as a whole in thought, belief and action. Unfortunately, inconsistencies in thought, belief, and behavior lie at the root of motivational problems in personal life. When people are on a diet, they drive to the gym; while they smoke, they feed on organic food. These are funny but unfortunately real contradictions. The biggest reason for this is that we resist what our own choices bring. We accept the consequences of our choices only when they are good; When it has consequences that we never thought of, our passive resistance causes it. Our level of consciousness here falls short of accepting both the good and the bad with all its consequences. When we think about what we consider to be true about a particular issue, we act in the opposite way. So we lose our integrity. So when we are not whole, we easily become fragile in our personal warfare. In the smallest thing, we internalize the defeat and give up. When we ensure our integrity within ourselves, we feel strong, and we feel more confident when we are consistent. When we are one, we are no longer afraid to be alone.
Sometimes we have to let things go and accept the situation and surrender. Even if it sometimes distracts us from our goals. What do you think about the elections made in this regard?
There are two general understandings in life. In fact, these understandings have divided the world in two. The first is the Western understanding that I can control and predict everything. The second understanding is the Eastern understanding that I cannot control anything, I can only adapt to what will happen and life. In fact, the views of both sides are consistent and correct within themselves. However, one piece is missing. That is, while the West succeeded in dominating nature and therefore the resources of the world; The East, on the other hand, has managed to achieve a more serene and peaceful life… Actually, the important thing here is balance. “Balance” is the basis of life and nature… Our only means of control in life should be 'ourselves'. Our every action, our thought and our expression, act by creating circles in the world like a drop of water falling into the sea. The strength of this wave is related to the level and degree of influence of our desires. We are actually responsible for sending the drop into the water and its power there. What its effects on the world might be depends on many factors other than ourselves that we cannot predict. If we are not satisfied with the results, we will send another drop or find a way to accept those results. Everything is just that.
