{"id":323,"date":"2010-05-07T08:03:46","date_gmt":"2010-05-07T08:03:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tameraktas.com\/wptest\/wordpress\/2010\/05\/07\/terk-edilenlerin-psikolojisi-2\/"},"modified":"2023-02-01T13:42:13","modified_gmt":"2023-02-01T13:42:13","slug":"terk-edilenlerin-psikolojisi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/e-motivasyon.net\/en\/terk-edilenlerin-psikolojisi.html","title":{"rendered":"Psychology of the Abandoned"},"content":{"rendered":"

Siz hi\u00e7 terk edildiniz mi? Terk edilmenin verdi\u011fi inan\u0131lmaz \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fcn\u00fcn alt\u0131ndan kalkabilmek ve kendini tekrar toplayabilmek ger\u00e7ekten zor bir s\u00fcre\u00e7tir. \u0130li\u015fkisi olan herkes potansiyel bir terk edilendir diyerek bu yaz\u0131y\u0131 dikkatle okuman\u0131z\u0131 \u00f6neriyoruz. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc siz de bir g\u00fcn terk edilebilirsiniz.<\/em><\/p>\n

Was Alexander Pope referring to the pain of the abandoned when he said, \u201cWhat a great memory love has\u201d? It doesn't matter if you're male or female. The effect of abandonment on the body is quite similar. The impact of abandonment is felt not by gender, but by one's passion for one's partner. Generally, the abandoned party is caught off guard. Because of the intensity of his love, he could not see the end of the approaching pain. Because love has blinded both of his eyes. What adds salt and pepper to the pain of being abandoned is the abandonment of the person for someone else. Feelings of hatred and vengeance are now mixed into the work. His poor ego is damaged. In general, outside support is definitely needed. This support can come from a close friend or from a professional. The person wants to share his feelings with his friends, but generally it does nothing but remind what happened.<\/p>\n

The following are proven methods to ease the pain of abandonment and help a person regroup. But they are like the links of a chain. It is only as strong as its weakest link, and each must be taken into account. However, each person's experiences are special and unique. Therefore, it should be kept in mind that these solutions are universal.<\/p>\n

Make up your mind first<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n
First of all, the first thing to understand about love (See: "Love's Motivation<\/a>\u201d) is the fact that love is not a very 'rational' process. With abandonment, our emotional world suddenly turns upside down. We often lose control. Our potential to do stupid things increases. For this reason, it is necessary to regain the healthy thinking structure. For this, it is necessary to constantly remind yourself what the possible consequences of your actions will be.<\/div>\n
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Do I Really Want To Forget?<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n
Give yourself an honest answer. Do you really want to forget it? This should be the first question that those experiencing sadness after abandonment should ask themselves. Do you really want to forget about him and destroy your feelings for him? Or do you want to sit back and wait for him to return? Just being unsure of the answer to this question can make solutions impossible.<\/div>\n
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Should I Burn the Ships?<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n
Definitely yes. One of the most important obstacles to relieving the pain of abandonment is waiting for it to come back to you. This is where the tragic part begins. Because waiting requires hope. But this situation only causes your suffering to continue while you wait in pain.<\/div>\n
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The One Who Runs Is Chased.. What If He Doesn't?<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n
One of the things you should never do is go after it. As an animal instinct, we want to chase the fleeing one. If you go on top of him and fall at his feet, you will be in a situation like athletes objecting to a red card. All your actions and demands towards him cause him to move away from you and justify this decision. Do not do this!<\/div>\n

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Fill in the blanks<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n
It's a fact that your partner may be a big part of your life. This is generally understood and normal. You can also have mutual friends. Of course, according to the degree of this, it will be difficult to fill the void he has created in your life. But act fast on this one. Unless you are distracted by other things, you will have a lot of time to think about it and the pain will continue. Start seeing your friends more often. Also, keep your radar on the opposite sex. Naturally, seeing someone else may seem strange to you because you are still very emotional. But life is full of surprises.
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Out of Sight\u2026<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n
Eliminate anything that reminds you of him. Photos, gifts, sweaters, etc. What is out of sight is also out of mind. Do not go to places where you spend time with him. Of course, this applies to things you can do outside of the places you have to meet. If you are a colleague this will of course be difficult. If you're likely to encounter it often, take a long vacation if you can.<\/div>\n

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Time Works In Your Favor<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n<\/div>\n
In such cases, melancholy is often hit. Any act of suffering, the desire to get drunk, to pity oneself, to quarrel with others is at the highest level. However, it is your choice to have them. Give yourself time, for example, set a period of 3 days and live your pain to the fullest during this time. Your brain will fulfill your request. Believe me, even Don Juan would need that kind of time if he was abandoned. Don't expect miracles. But time is working in your favor, keep that in mind.<\/div>\n


\nStay in Action<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n
Signs of inertia and depression will appear, be prepared for this. However, being aware of this process will be enough for you for now. Stay on the go, keep yourself busy physically and mentally. Spend time helping others if you can. Never leave your mind blank.<\/div>\n

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Focus on the Negative Aspects<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n
It is inevitable for the 'ego' to come into play in relationships that end due to cheating. What actually hurts is your ego hurt as well as the end of your love. It weakens self-confidence. In such cases, you feel that your feeling of love begins to turn into anger. In fact, this is an advantage in suppressing the pain of abandonment. Hating him might ease some of your pain. Think about the things that make you angry. Focus on the negative aspects of your love that you tolerate.
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And Forgive Him<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n
Son olarak s\u00f6ylenmesi gereken bir \u015fey varsa o da, her ne olursa olsun onu y\u00fcre\u011finizde ba\u011f\u0131\u015flaman\u0131z gerekti\u011fidir. Bu kolay olmayacakt\u0131r elbette. Ama bunu zaten kendiniz i\u00e7in yapacaks\u0131n\u0131z. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc onu affetmedi\u011finiz m\u00fcddet\u00e7e bu ac\u0131, i\u00e7inizde kanayan bir yara olarak kalmaya devam edecektir. \u015e\u00f6yle d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn; belki de bu ya\u015fananlar sizin i\u00e7in iyi olacakt\u0131r. Belki de ger\u00e7ekten hak etti\u011finiz birini bulacak ve daha iyi bir ili\u015fkiye ba\u015flayacaks\u0131n\u0131zd\u0131r. Belki de d\u00f6n\u00fcp bir g\u00fcn ona te\u015fekk\u00fcr bile edeceksinizdir. Kim bilir \ud83d\ude42<\/div>\n
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A\u015fk ve Sevgi \u00dczerine En \u0130yi \u00d6zl\u00fc S\u00f6zler<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n