{"id":18415,"date":"2015-11-26T08:49:48","date_gmt":"2015-11-26T06:49:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ozdeyis.net\/?p=14915"},"modified":"2026-09-17T15:55:55","modified_gmt":"2026-09-17T15:55:55","slug":"insana-en-cok-aci-veren-sey-soyledikleriyle-soylemek-istedikleri-arasindaki-ucurumdur-fyodor-dostoyevski","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/e-motivasyon.net\/en\/insana-en-cok-aci-veren-sey-soyledikleriyle-soylemek-istedikleri-arasindaki-ucurumdur-fyodor-dostoyevski.html","title":{"rendered":"\u201cThe thing that hurts most is the gap between what they say and what they want to say.\u201d Fyodor Dostoevsky"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cThe thing that hurts most is the gap between what they say and what they want to say.\u201d Fyodor Dostoevsky<\/strong><\/em><\/h3>\n

\"Gitti<\/a><\/p>\n

Bu s\u00f6z, insan\u0131n i\u00e7inde ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 duygularla d\u0131\u015far\u0131ya yans\u0131tt\u0131klar\u0131 aras\u0131ndaki mesafenin nas\u0131l bir i\u00e7 \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmaya d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015febilece\u011fini anlat\u0131yor. \u00d6zellikle s\u00f6ylemek isteyip de s\u00f6yleyemedi\u011fimiz s\u00f6zler, bast\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z duygular ve ifade edemedi\u011fimiz ihtiya\u00e7lar zamanla i\u00e7imizde birikir. Bazen k\u0131r\u0131lmamak i\u00e7in susar, bazen kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdakini kaybetmemek i\u00e7in ger\u00e7ek d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerimizi gizler, bazen de g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcnmek u\u011fruna asl\u0131nda ne hissetti\u011fimizi s\u00f6ylemeyiz. Ancak s\u00f6ylediklerimizle i\u00e7imizden ge\u00e7enler aras\u0131ndaki mesafe b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fck\u00e7e, insan\u0131n kendisiyle olan ili\u015fkisi de zorla\u015f\u0131r.<\/strong> Dostoyevski\u2019ye atfedilen bu s\u00f6z\u00fcn d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gibi, insan\u0131 as\u0131l yoran yaln\u0131zca s\u00f6yleyemedikleri de\u011fil, kendi ger\u00e7e\u011fi ile kurdu\u011fu ileti\u015fimin bozulmas\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Bu s\u00f6zden g\u00fcnl\u00fck hayat\u0131m\u0131za ta\u015f\u0131yabilece\u011fimiz tek bir pratik \u00f6neri \u015fudur: \u00d6nemli bir konu\u015fmadan \u00f6nce kendinize \u201cAsl\u0131nda ne s\u00f6ylemek istiyorum?\u201d sorusunu sorun.<\/strong> Verece\u011finiz cevab\u0131 hemen kar\u015f\u0131n\u0131zdaki ki\u015fiye aktarmak zorunda de\u011filsiniz; \u00f6nce kendi duygunuzu ve ihtiyac\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 netle\u015ftirmeniz yeterlidir. K\u0131rg\u0131nsan\u0131z k\u0131rg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131, beklentiniz varsa beklentinizi, te\u015fekk\u00fcr etmek istiyorsan\u0131z minnettarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 fark edin. Ard\u0131ndan bunu su\u00e7lay\u0131c\u0131 olmayan, a\u00e7\u0131k ve sade bir dille ifade etmeyi deneyin. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 ileti\u015fim, akl\u0131m\u0131zdan ge\u00e7en her \u015feyi s\u00f6ylemek de\u011fil; \u00f6nemli olan\u0131 kendimizi ink\u00e2r etmeden ve kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdakini incitmeden ifade edebilmektir.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00d6rne\u011fin bir arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n uzun zamand\u0131r sizi aramad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ve buna k\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnelim. \u201cHi\u00e7bir zaman beni d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fcyorsun.\u201d dedi\u011finizde asl\u0131nda s\u00f6ylemek istedi\u011finiz \u015fey bu olmayabilir. Belki de i\u00e7inizdeki ger\u00e7ek c\u00fcmle, \u201cSeni \u00f6zledim ve aram\u0131zdaki yak\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n azalmas\u0131 beni \u00fcz\u00fcyor.\u201ddur. \u0130ki c\u00fcmle aras\u0131ndaki fark yaln\u0131zca kelimelerde de\u011fildir; biri su\u00e7lama yarat\u0131rken di\u011feri duyguyu ve ger\u00e7ek ihtiyac\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr h\u00e2le getirir.<\/strong> Hayat\u0131m\u0131zdaki pek \u00e7ok ileti\u015fim sorunu, asl\u0131nda s\u00f6ylemek istediklerimizi do\u011fru kelimelerle bulu\u015fturamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z i\u00e7in b\u00fcy\u00fcr. Kendimizi daha do\u011fru ifade etmeye ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda yaln\u0131zca ba\u015fkalar\u0131yla de\u011fil, kendimizle olan ileti\u015fimimizin de iyile\u015fti\u011fini fark ederiz.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\n

Fyodor Dostoyevski Kimdir?<\/h3>\n

Fyodor Dostoyevski (1821-1881) Rus romanc\u0131, \u00f6yk\u00fc yazar\u0131 ve d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcr. 19. y\u00fczy\u0131l Rus edebiyat\u0131n\u0131n en \u00f6nemli isimlerinden biri kabul edilen Dostoyevski, Su\u00e7 ve Ceza, Karamazov Karde\u015fler, Budala ve Yeralt\u0131ndan Notlar gibi eserlerinde insan psikolojisini, vicdan\u0131, ahlaki \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131, \u00f6zg\u00fcr iradeyi ve insan\u0131n kendi i\u00e7 d\u00fcnyas\u0131yla m\u00fccadelesini derinlemesine ele alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Ya\u015fam\u0131 boyunca yoksulluk, s\u00fcrg\u00fcn ve hastal\u0131k gibi zorlu deneyimler ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f; bu deneyimler eserlerindeki insan ve toplum tasvirlerini \u00f6nemli \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcde etkilemi\u015ftir. Dostoyevski, \u00f6zellikle insan\u0131n \u00e7eli\u015fkilerini ve i\u00e7sel \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131n\u0131 edebiyata g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bi\u00e7imde ta\u015f\u0131mas\u0131yla d\u00fcnya edebiyat\u0131nda kal\u0131c\u0131 bir yer edinmi\u015ftir.<\/p>\n

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\u0130nsanlara Dair \u00d6zl\u00fc S\u00f6zler ve \u00d6zdeyi\u015fler<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n